


Sherlock and Alchohol

by TheSleeplessWriter



Series: An Agreement of Sorts [4]
Category: Sherlock (TV)
Genre: Birthday Spanking, Drabble, Excessive Drinking, I Wrote This Instead of Sleeping, M/M, Spanking
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2017-09-12
Updated: 2017-09-12
Packaged: 2018-12-26 21:01:09
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 1
Words: 896
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/12066909
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/TheSleeplessWriter/pseuds/TheSleeplessWriter
Summary: John insists they celebrate Sherlock's birthday. It doesn't end as well as he hoped.(This is part of the An Agreement of Sorts series, but can be read standalone.)





	Sherlock and Alchohol

Everyone at 221B was drunk this late Saturday night. They were celebrating Sherlock's birthday, which John had found out about after Mycroft had sent a short text to Sherlock's phone. 

\----

"Happy 35th, brother mine." John read from the cellphone that was left on the kitchen table. "It's your birthday." He said with realization. 

Sherlock was slumped on the couch, lazily watching crap telly. "What even is the point?" He mumbled tiredly. "Hooray, I'm one year closer to my impending death!" His voice was filled with ridiculously fake cheer. 

John smirked at the detective's usual cynical attitude. "C'mon. We can invite Molly and Greg for drinks. We can get a cake too."

Sherlock raised an eyebrow. "It doesn't sound like I have a choice." 

"Nope."

\-------

Now they were all laughing until their sides hurt because of some asinine joke Lestrade made. The alcohol always made stupidity suddenly the funniest thing they've ever heard. 

Molly didn't start out drinking hard and fast. She took one here and there, and as the night progressed imbibed more than the rest. She was a quiet, shy little thing that sure could hold her liquor. 

Sherlock, well, it only took a few drinks for him to start feeling the effects. He felt buzzy and warm, his mind spinning much too fast. Maybe that was because his drunken mind had decided to drown his ice cream cake in liquor before consuming it in wolfish bites. In the back of his mind, he knew this wasn't a good idea, but he couldn't remember why. Blue frosting decorated his upper lip, and, upon noticing, he wiped it off with his sleeve. The sleeve of one of his posh shirts he loves to wear. 

"Hooow, how could I forget. C'mon Lock." John called out from across the room, sitting in his chair. 

Sherlock staggered over, his eyes half lidded. He was quickly finding out he was more of a sleepy drunk than a partying one. John took hold of his thin wrists and pulled him over his knees with remarkable speed for a man so wasted. 

Lestrade snorted and covered his mouth as he laughed, while Molly bit her lip and fought to stay quiet. 

"John!" He squawked, quickly sobering at the situation. He wriggled and turned his face up to meet John's. His drunken mind tripped over itself as it struggled to remember what he was in trouble for this time. There were quite a few incidents, but none that John could possibly know about yet. "Not here!" Seeing that John wasn't letting up, he asked "Is this about the rabbits? I swear I'll return them by Monday." He thought he was speaking in a whisper. In reality it was barely below a normal speaking tone. 

John decided to brush off the comment about the rabbits and laughed. "It's a birthday spanking, you silly bugger. It's an American thing. Knew a bloke in Afghanistan who was born there and told our squad about it. Now, how old are you?" 

"Thirty-five." Sherlock said darkly. He hid his face in his crossed arms, as it was blushing a bright red. 

"Oonnee."

"Twoo." 

John slurred a bit while he loudly counted out every light thwap to the seat of Sherlock's trousers. They were nothing more than soft taps. Lestrade and Molly joined in on the counting, their voices stumbling just as much as John's. Sherlock squirmed, his curly mop of hair bouncing. 

"This is a stupid ritual." He muttered as a few more slaps fell. 

Lestrade chuckled. "Maybe they should be harder, with that bloody cheek." 

"Fuck off, Greg." Sherlock grumbled.

Lestrade widened his eyes and nearly spilled his sloshing drink. It turns out Drunk Sherlock can remember his first name without a problem. That was definitely interesting. He promised himself to ask Sherlock about that in the future. 

When John reached thirty-five, he kept his hand raised in the air, expectantly looking towards the spectators. Lestrade and Molly were a bit slow in realizing what to say, but eventually caught on. 

"And one ta grow onn!" The three shouted sloppily as John delivered a very sharp final swat. 

"Ahh!" Sherlock said, standing quickly. His face was comically flushed, although that can be blamed on both the alchohol and the birthday spanking. The rest laughed heartily and continued with their drinks for the rest of the night. 

The next morning, Sherlock awoke on the sofa with a dizzy, pounding headache. The second his feet found the floor, his stomach turned and he nearly tripped racing to the bathroom. John heard and stumbled to help, holding Sherlock's hair as he vomited violently into the toilet. 

"Bloody hell." John exclaimed sympathetically as the retching went on for a while. 

"I forgot I was lactose intolerant." Sherlock admitted, wiping his mouth once again with his sleeve. He shakily stood while John gave him a paper cup of water. 

John nodded. "Next time we'll just get dinner." He made a mental note that Sherlock and alcohol were not a good combination. "Did you at least put the cake away?" 

Sherlock squinted his eyes upward and tried to remember. "I think so." He couldn't quite recall the last hour or so of the night. 

Weeks later, John found the melted and sticky cake inside the oven. He sighed exasperatedly and searched for the cleaning supplies. Sherlock and alcohol were not a good combination.

**Author's Note:**

> A quick fic to cure my insomnia. Oh, I should be asleep right now... Let me know what you think in the comments, and feel free to leave kudos and constructive criticism :)


End file.
